


It’s paper, I win!

by R_4_L



Series: Quarantine Prompts 2020 [6]
Category: Kuroshitsuji | Black Butler
Genre: Mentions Suicide, concept of the time after death and before the soul moves to it’s final place, tongue in cheek
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-01
Updated: 2020-08-01
Packaged: 2021-03-06 07:29:21
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 730
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25649572
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/R_4_L/pseuds/R_4_L
Summary: Poor ole Jonathon is just some schmuck who committed suicide and is now in the afterlife awaiting his fate.  What he sees if four ‘men’ three of whom are dressed in monk’s robes, one in black and two in white while the fourth man is in a really sharp suit and tie.  Thankfully they’re ignoring him for the moment.A Variety of chapters based on prompts given to beat the COVID quarantine, they will be on a variety of fandoms and lengths. There may be some crossovers, AU’s, rare pairs (causes it’s me and I love them) and some really weird head cannons because why not. I’ll try to keep them fairly short- under 5000 words and a single chapter per prompt.
Series: Quarantine Prompts 2020 [6]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1673929
Comments: 3
Kudos: 1





	It’s paper, I win!

**Author's Note:**

> Prompt #7: Angst. Black Butler. How does one become a reaper?  
> Sorry changing this from “angst” to “crack”

Jonathon had died. Not surprising really, he knew that everyone died. He just didn’t expect this. He fully expected to go to hell for committing suicide. One minute he was sitting in his garden sipping on some poisoned tea and the next he was here standing in front of four men who were trying to decide what to do with him. Really, he should speak up, after all it was his afterlife they were bickering about.

“That’s it I threw paper I won, he’s mine.” The man was tall with dark hair, dressed in an impeccable black suit, long trench and glasses. 

“Cheater.” 

“Now, now Lucy don’t be like that. It’s all in the wrist and I scored higher.” The bespectacled man cackled.

The man who must be Lucy growled and disappeared.

His companions wore what seemed to be monks robes. Old fashioned monk’s robes at that. One was a greying brunette an the other had almost white blonde hair. The blonde was trying to pacify his friend on his loss, “I don’t know how he does it, but I swear, Peter he’s cheating.”

The one Jonathon assumed to be Peter, just patted the other robed man’s arm as he lead him away, “that may be the case, but if he did. He cheated the other one too.” Both men grinned as they disappeared.

“Excuse me, but may I ask what is going on?” Jonathon approached the man in the suit. He couldn’t help but feel that with the black trench coat this man almost looked like he was wearing robes too, but well appointed ones. The others might look like fourteenth century monks but this one looked like an arch deacon in the finest black silk.

“You, young man, just became my apprentice.” 

“Apprentice? But I’m dead?”

“Ahh, never let a little thing like death get in the way of getting your job done,” the man in the suit eyed Jonathon, “we will need to get you kitted out here and ready for work.”

“Work? Excuse me? Can you explain a little more?”

“I suppose I should. You, Jonathon, have just become a reaper. You will be sent back to the human world to collect the souls of the newly departed and bring them here. You are now a GRIM REAPER!”

“But I committed suicide?”

“Yes and I just won your soul in a game of rock, paper, scissors. Now come we need to find you a better suit and a gardening implement before we start your training. Maybe a new name too. Jonathon is so blasé.” Waving a hand in the air the bespectacled man was mostly talking to himself at this point but Jonathan felt he had to keep trying.

“Umm,” he was ignored. Jonathon just stood there with a blank look on his face. A game of rock, paper, scissors?

“Oh mustn’t forget glasses, and a mentor, maybe that new guy, hmmm,” he flipped through a notebook he pulled from his breast pocket. “Oh what WAS his name? A red head, okay they’re a little - energetic but- hmm on second thought no; too high strung, too many demerits. There’s Mr by the book, if we could just get the stick out of his ass, he’s a maybe.” Mr three piece suit just kept muttering away. “Hmm as for a weapon, maybe a froe so much classier then a pruning saw especially after the last one choose a lawnmower of all thing.” He shuddered.

“A game of rock, paper, scissors? You won my soul in a game of rock, paper, scissors?”

The man in the suit turned and finally looked at him through silver rimmed glasses that almost hid his piercing glowing green eyes. Jonathon took an involuntary step back. This man was dangerous, so much more dangerous then anyone else Jonathon had ever run into. His long grey hair not quite obscuring the rest of his face and the scars around his neck.

“What did you expect us to play parcheesi? Dice? It was five out seven between the three of us and I won. Again. We do have a schedule to keep you know.” He turned and walked away. Jonathon rushed to keep up. “By the way do you know any good jokes? I love a good laugh.”

Jonathon’s eyes grew round in fear. He never got jokes right, he always messed up the punchlines.

**Author's Note:**

> Sorry this one took a bit. I was given ten Prompts and I have been working on them, honestly, but then I went back to work and now I’m off again for reasons. Honestly wasn’t sure how I was going to tangle this one. Love the series but have trouble write angst short. This, as cheesy as it sounds, was actually a dream just not a Black Butler dream but the concept and hey it works.


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